i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
