She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize