so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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