Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
