I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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