...so i touched it.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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