I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
