Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Randomize
