Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
