i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
