btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
