hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I would fuck him just for his dog
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
