I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
