I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Randomize
