normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
