i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
