if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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