Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
