When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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