Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
