he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
