My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Randomize
