She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
too bad you live with your parents still
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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