is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Randomize
