i would punch a child for taco bell
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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