just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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