just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize