wrigley field is MILF paradise
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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