We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
i out mim tonsoeep
Randomize
