I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
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