i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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