Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
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