We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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