Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
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