She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize