is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
