but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
