Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Randomize
