i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Come on in and take your pants off
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