Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
