well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
