I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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