He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
