Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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