You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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