I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
