Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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