i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
