You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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