your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
