some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
