Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
