My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize