My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
