Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
