Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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