Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
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