I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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