i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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