that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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