So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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