He is an equal opportunity slut.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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