So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
