you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
someone owes me an orgasm
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
