I think im going to throw up on grandma
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Randomize
