I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
