do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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