Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
