I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Sext me about skeletons
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
