Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
please come you make the beer taste better
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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