Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
