Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
