I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
