I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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