New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
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