Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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