This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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