Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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